About Me

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Jersey Shore, United States
In case any of my friends or family members actually read this Blog, please consider all Names, Characters, Places and Incidents to be the product of the author's imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales are entirely COINCIDENTAL...Muaaah!! Now, really, about me: I bring the crazy wherever I go, so I've been told...I make fun of myself more than anyone else ever could. I hate: the awkward silence in elevators, watches with no numbers, picky eaters, Cancer and legalism. I love: coffee, stalking Hugh Jackman, my Spanx, COMMENTS, sarcasm and writing: Middle Grade, NA, YA Paranormal and Urban Fantasy.

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Thursday, October 24, 2013

Embracing Your Uniqueness

A couple of weeks ago,  my daughters and I attended a local, outdoor farmer's/flea market. I wore: a Wolverine t-shirt, jeans and sneakers. This is a pretty typical, normal Saturday afternoon outfit for me to sport. Nothing out of the ordinary, so I didn't think anything of it. The girls and I were having a great time, walking around, checking out all the sights and enjoying the unusually warm Fall weather when  we came upon a booth the girls were interested in. We stopped to check it out. The older woman behind the table hairy eyeballed me and my t-shirt for a long time. I smiled at her. But she didn't smile back. She said in a sarcastic sneer:

Lady: "Did you actually buy that shirt for yourself?"
Jaybird: "Yep!"
Lady: "You are really immature, do you realize that?"
Jaybird: "OK."
Lady to my kids: "You realize your mom is really immature, right?"

The Husband and I have taught my girls to always be respectful to their elders, but when it comes to defending me, I knew that the girls were going to throw respect right out the window. Before the girls told this lady to go pound sand, I pulled them away. I saw no benefit in arguing with ugly. Instead, I chose to use the situation for good and as a teachable "mom-ment".

As we walked away, I turned to my daughters and said, "You know how Mommy loves comic books and superheroes? Well, some people, like that old lady, thinks that makes me immature or even foolish. Should that make me not read comic books anymore or wear my favorite Wolverine t-shirt, because of what other people might think of me?" 

We wound up talking at great lengths about being who God created us to be and not trying to be somebody were not. Overall, as mean spirited as that woman was, I have to thank her for providing a very valuable lesson for me to teach my girls. I am, for sure, nothing like any of the other moms at school.  But that's OK. Trying to fit in and be like everyone else, is not the way I roll. Nope, I embrace my uniqueness and individuality. I like being me. I want my girls to learn that no one should ever pressure them into being something that they are not. And bottom line, sometimes people are just straight up mean. Bullies can by any age. I don't want my girls to ever feel like they must stifle their creativity or their ability to express themselves, to please someone else.

The very next Saturday, we found ourselves at another outdoors function. Guess what I wore? Another one of my Wolverine t-shirts, sneakers and  a pair of jeans.  And guess who we saw? LOL!!!! Yep. Same old lady. Of course, this time, we didn't bother stopping at her booth. My girls and I marched proudly on, heads held high. :)

Friday, October 18, 2013

Commitment

Yesterday, The Husband and I celebrated our 17th wedding anniversary. I can honestly say that I love and appreciate my husband so much more today than I did on that sunny October afternoon, seventeen years ago, when I pledged my heart to him. Now, you all know I tell it like it is. So, I'm not going to sit here and blow smoke up your butts telling you that every single one of those years were all sunshine, unicorns and rainbows, because that would be a big fat LIE. Marriage, at least to me, is like a roller coaster. It has many twists and turns and ups and downs. The real test is if you can stay in your seat, keep your hands to yourself and finish the ride. There were definitely times when I wanted to smack my husband upside the head for being so stinking obstinate. Then again, there were plenty of times he's wanted to shake the crazy right out of me. Bottom line, we made a commitment to each other.  And we intend on sticking it out.  Even when things get rough and life isn't easy, we plan on honoring that commitment.


This week, the Husband and I were heart broken to find out two of our very good friends have called it quits.  It just shocked and crushed us to find out that these particular couples were throwing in the towel. They don't want to fight for their marriages either. They won't even give counseling a go. We've spoken to each of them individually, but all parties involved seem to be completely done. Don't misinterpret what I'm saying here, neither of these couples had abusive or dysfunctional relationships; I would never condone anyone staying in the case of abuse. That's clearly not the issue here. Both sets of our friends are claiming to just no longer be compatible. :( Which is the saddest excuse to me. Crap, my husband and I have never been compatible! As a matter of fact, we've got to be two of the most incompatible people you'd ever want to meet. But somehow, we've made it through the tough times and made our marriage work.

Maybe I'm being na├»ve (I've been accused of it many times before) but I feel like our friends are taking the easy way out. It's easier to give up and walk away. It's harder to try and communicate our true feelings, admit our faults, selfish habits, and rude assumptions to one another. I am thoroughly convinced that in both of these cases, all parties involved will be extremely sorry for this quick decision to walk away, without even trying to work things out, later on in life. Whether or not these issues can be resolved, you can bet they will resurface again with a future partner if they are not at least addressed. I'm not a counselor. I won't pretend to have all the answers. But I will ask this, how about commitment? How about making a promise and giving your word that you would love someone in good times and bad, through sickness and health? There is a reason those words are included in most marriage ceremonies.

I'd really like to hear your opinions on this subject. What do you think about marriage? Are you seeing a trend of people giving up on marriage instead of trying to work things out?  Do you think it's better to walk  away if things aren't working out, or would you think twice before walking away?

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Hello! Again.

Hello again...please allow me to re-announce that I'm back. Because literally five seconds after I posted my whole "I'm back" speech, two of my kids were sent home from school sick. There was such a bad outbreak of the Norovirus, they actually had to close the entire school for cleansing.  This is the same nasty virus that spreads like wild fire and takes down everyone on cruise ships. It's vile and very catching. And, once again, I found myself lacking the time to comment and/or catch up with anyone's posts. Ugh.

My family and I have contracted this lovely virus in the past. So, instead of not posting today, I thought I'd repost what I wrote previously about this virus just to give you a little idea of what I've been dealing with. It's titled, "It's All Fun and Games Until"...

It seems like every year, no matter how many precautions I take, my family still catches the dreaded Norovirus. There is no mistaking this plague once it's unleashed. The minute the first victim goes down, you know it's only a matter of time. One by one, slowly it creeps up to claim you and every single member of your family and any living organism you have come in contact with in the past three days.

The demonic smell of this evil virus alone, is enough to take the strongest of us all out. You have never smelled anything quite like it on the face of this earth, trust me. It's so purely unique in its foulness, you know right away that you are dealing with something horrible, something other than human. Literally, it could be the "weapon of mass destruction" we've been searching for.

Almost like being in labor, when the first clench of a stomach cramp hits you, you know your time has come. Once the Norovirus has claimed you as its next victim, for the next 12-15 hours straight, you will become its bitch. The subsequent shrieks of protests that resound from deep within your abdomen have no effect. The Norovirus, once unleashed, never deviates from its mission. It's ultimate plan, of course, is for you and your entire household to empty your bodies of any fluids or solids ingested since infancy, from every orifice you have.

Over the course of the most miserable 12-15 hours of your existence, you have only two options. Pray and wait. Wild, errant thoughts enter your head while you are wallowing in the trenches. At first, I thought, wouldn't it be easier to just lay me down in the tub and let someone come hose me off from time to time? Then, around the tenth hour, when I was delirious, angry and quite possibly mad, I thought, come on, Norovirus, bring it, what have I got to loose? Another five hours of this and I will reach my goal weight !!

Then, like a King Cobra, as quickly as it strikes, it retreats. Yet you just can't really believe it's gone. Although you wait for the counter attack, it's already moved on to its next victim. This is a good thing since you have no more fight in you. There's nothing left to give. The cold tile floor in your bathroom has become your resting place and it never felt so good. You may, like me, choose to just rest there for another twelve hours or at least until the dizziness and hallucinations pass.  It's only when I'm strong enough to pull the scale out and weigh myself, I know it's truly moved on.

Although the battle is over, unfortunately, the damage is done. The whole house is wounded and just trying to get the smell out can takes weeks. Just consider every single pot, garbage can, blanket, pillow, comforter and pair of underwear your family has ever owned as collateral damage. There is no recouping those losses.

So what advice can I give after this kind of destruction? Go on with your life. Rebuild, take comfort knowing your skinny jeans will fit you once again.. Live, laugh, love to the fullest. Because you never know. It's all just fun and games, until ....

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Hello, remember me?

Hey Guys!! Sorry I've been absent from class. I needed to take a little emergency break. But I'm back. And I sorely missed you all. Thanks so much to everyone who reached out or sent me e-mails and checked up on me! Thank God, I'm on the mend and life is slowly getting back on track in the Bird's Nest.

Please forgive me though, for being away and missing out on a lot of important events and happenings in your lives over the past couple of weeks. As much as I'd love to promise to read every one of your back posts and catch up, I know that's not  possible. It would tax me and I can't do that anymore. It's a lesson I'm continually having to be retaught. How do you stop pushing yourself? Especially when the temptation to do it is always there?

I don't know about you, but it is tremendously hard for me to say no to people! I want to help everybody. I tend to overcommit and plan/pack as many activities as I possibly can in one day. But it's seriously not healthy for me to continue to do this. Knowing to pull back when my body is beginning to feel fatigued and tired, is my biggest downfall. I'm trying to make good choices for my health and not feel guilty about it. What about you?

Do any of you struggle with saying no and/or then feeling guilty for saying it later? It's a hard habit to break, that's for sure. (I think this is especially true of moms.)  Right now, I can't promise to be here three-four times a week like I used to be. I'm getting better, but I simply could not keep up with my old pace, just yet. In the meanwhile, I'd really love it if  you'd leave me a comment about something great/positive/interesting/new that has been going on with you. That would make me so happy!     ~ Jaybird