The fam and I ventured into Hurricane Harbor ( water park) yesterday and I saw WAY too much boobage. For some reason, those bad boobies were spread through out the park like an epidemic. Know this friends: if someone like ME, who has mad trouble containing her own set, is commenting about this, it was a bad scene. Trust.
So, I'm not feeling well enough to go on any rides/slides, but the kids still insisted I come with, because "it's no fun without you". OK, not to sound conceited, but I know this is true. I am fun. I make everybody laugh. Even though all I was going to do was sit on a bench holding every one's junk (no pun intended) I'm still going to have a good time!
Yesterday, "observing" all the passer-bys and their various states of undress, amused me for hours. Thinking about writing it all down, in an absurd blog post, made me even happier. I found my fun. Here are the top ten things you will see at a NJ water park:
1. Side boob.
2. Back boob.
3. All OUT over the top boob.
4. Butt picking, digging and spelunking for thongs that are buried so deep, they should just be considered collateral damage! *Water slides are notorius for their wedgie inducing abilities.
5. Butt over-hang on the bottom, top and out both sides of bathing suit
6. Kids holding still, with yellow water surrounding them
7. Tinie-weenie man bikinis.
8. Junk that's hanging lower than tinie-weenie man bikini.
9. Man-scaping that NEEDS to be done
10. Women who think they should still wear a bikini, even though they should have stopped that madness, years ago. ACK!
What's the worst thing you've seen at a water park? My vote, is for the tinie-weenie man bikini I saw yesterday, with the junk coming out the bottom. That was the worst for me! Come on, can't you feel AIR on the boys? Geez!